Last week I had the opportunity to attend a Girl Power Hour at lunch put on by the
Lionheart Foundation. It was the first time I was happy to be working a Monday as it allowed me to attend this event where my company was a sponsor.
Per the Website,
Lionheart Foundation is dedicated to empowering adolescent girls and young women to achieve strong mental health and well-being. The Foundation delivers its services through counsellors in Calgary, focused on the unique mental health needs of adolescent girls, young women and their families. Anxiety is the most significant emotional health issue treated, commonly manifesting itself in eating disorders, self-harm, and depression.
Donations to Lionheart Foundation provide (1) subsidized counselling for individuals and families who cannot afford to pay for the full cost of treatment, and (2) training of therapists, doctors, nurses and other specialists to increase capacity in our community.
This year the focus was on technology and its affect on the mental health of children and adolescents. If you are parent, you know the struggle. At my house the struggle is with video games. If you are a parent of a boy, I'm sure that you have heard of Fortnite and all the meltdowns that occur after telling your son to leave a round before it is over. We all struggle with screen time and how much, if any, is right for your family.
While this topic hits so very close to home, I was nervous to attend. These are a bunch of VIPs talking about the effect of technologies on our kid's minds, surely they are are going to tell us how bad it is, right? WRONG.
Instead, they talked about technology and how it is part of our world and it isn't going anywhere. They didn't tell us that it was bad and that or kid shouldn't have screen time. What I took away from the power hour was that it is important to have screen free time. They suggested times like dinner time, bed time, and the car to be tech free zone. I already do that. It helps that there is no wifi in the kids rooms which makes it next to impossible for them to be connected. I always turn the TV off for dinner and as the kids get older I plan to have a phone dish in the kitchen where the phones go before meals. James already needs this.... I love how they recognized that technology isn't bad in moderation. It is the way of the world and we just have to teach our kids to use it responsibly.
On that note, I want to talk about our house and the rules we have in place around technology.
We don't have very strict rules.
Yes, you read that right. We don't have any official rules around technology. That's not to say we don't monitor what our kids are doing or how long they spend playing vids, but we do it on a day by day basis. Some days I take it away and other days they play Fortnite more than I care to admit. Sometimes the rules are based around my mood, and sometimes it is based around theirs. Bad behavior leads to less screen time as punishment. Extra time is generally earned when I need some down time after a bad day, as a reward for myself. Ha!
We've treated screen time like this since a very young age. James and I have always been TV people. If we are home, the TV is generally on. When the kids got older, we didn't change this. Our kids were used to the TV and were never kids that stopped to stare at a show when the TV was turned on since they were used to it. They just continued playing without giving the TV much attention.
I often feel judged for these choices.
So many parents had, and still have, strict rules around their kids and screen time and I never felt confident to say that mine didn't. Sometimes I still don't have the confidence to tell people about our rules, or should I say lack of rules, surrounding screen time at our house. Through talking to other parents with similar 'rules' I've realized that I am not alone. I am NOT the only parent that lets my child use electronics during the week or for more than 30 minutes a day.
My boys love to play hockey, have nerf gun wars, play tag, go sledding, scooter, skateboard, bike riding, and much much more. They are active, they are smart, they can have a conversation, and yes, they are addicted to Fortnite. I am trying to teach them that a healthy lifestyle should have both. Some days have more hockey while others have more screen time. As long as they are enjoying it in moderation and learning what is socially acceptable as they do it, I think I am doing my job.
We as society could use a crash etiquette on cell phone etiquette. Have you noticed the number of people on the sidewalk walking with their phone in hand texting or reading an email. At bus stops, at red lights, in the mall, in the office, at hockey games... every where you turn there are all the adults on their phones. How are kids supposed to learn how to responsibly use technology when most adults don't. If we want to teach our kids the healthy way to use phones, we need to start with what we are showing them. Don't get me wrong, I'm as guilty as the next person but my kids also see me exercise, read, and visit with my friends..
This Power Hour made me feel like my child was not going to have attention problems or flunk out of high school because they play video games or have watched one too many episodes of Ricky, Nicky, Dicky, and Dawn.
I highly recommended attending one of these Power Hours if you have the chance.
